Why we (don’t) need best friends

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My outfit : Diva-Charms beach wear / Oysho slippers / Forever 21 chocker /

Laura’s outfit : Zara maxi dress / Soleshop beach bag

Photos by  Laura Maxim / Dacian Chiorean

 

Cea mai buna prietena. Oare mai exista asa ceva? Cu mana pe inima va recunosc ca nu putine au fost  momentele in care m-am indoit de acest lucru, de faptul ca femeile pur si simplu nu pot sa se bucure  cu adevarat  una pentru cealalta, iar intr-un final este aproape imposibil ca micile invidii sa nu fisureze relatia din temelii. O sa spuneti ca am fost eu ghinionista si ca nu am intalnit persoana potrivita. E posibil si asta, nu exclud. Sau poate am cerut prea mult de la viata : loialitate, sinceritate si respect. Dar ca in orice relatie, cand dai mai mult decat primesti, e ca in matematica, esti cam pe minus si iti iese cu virgula…

Dar ce ne-am face totusi fara acest stereotip  de “best friend”? Chiar ne face viata mai frumoasa? Chiar avem nevoie de el? Let’s see:

  • Se spune ca prietenii din copilarie sunt  pe viata. Discutabil. Cred ca fiecare dintre noi am avut prieteni diferiti in  fiecare etapa a vietii noastre, pentru ca viata ne duce in zone diferite, iar sansa ca drumurile noastre sa se mai intersecteze sunt destul de mici. In acest caz doar cei cu adevarat norocosi se pot bucura de o astfel de relatie.
  • Chiar trebuie sa ne acceptam prietena cu bune si cu rele? Asa cum e ea? Isterica, drama queen, nepunctuala, superficiala, egocentrica sau naiva? Regula zice ca trebuie sa o iubesti asa cum este ea, eu zic ca din cand in cand mai merge sa ii dai cate “o palma” sa revina la realitate, ca altfel risca sa traiasca in lumea ei unde toti sunt zmei si ea este o zana.
  • Ce te faci cu acea prietena care e prea sincera si ti le serveste direct, pe sleau ? Indiferent daca e vorba de bani, relatia ta amoroasa sau un mic exces de celulita. O preferi aleia care nu ti le zice direct, ci pe la spate.
  • Aia cu care te vezi o data pe an, pentru ca Dumnezeu stie ce face. Daca draga mea Laura ar sta aici la Bucuresti, naiba stie ce ar fi iesit din relatia noastra, la cat de nebune suntem. Asa ca pe mine m-a plasat in capitala, iar ea a fost mai norocoasa, destinul a dus-o tocmai la Baia Mare, acolo unde nu e asa galagie si poluare 🙂
  • Bun, dar  cum stii care e aia care tine la tine chiar daca tu la randul tau esti o nesuferita?  Aia care te intelege dintr-o privire, care stie ce ai fara sa scoti un cuvant, cea care  cand o  suni si o intrebi daca are mancare acasa nu se supara, aia care iti dezvaluie adresa magazinului de unde isi ia mereu chilipiruri, aia  cand o  suni la orice ora din zi si chiar daca are treaba sta sa povestiti, aia care sta la mama naibii in Maramures dar te suna de 5 ori pe zi sa doar sa vorbiti nimicuri, aia care iti spune direct in fata ca geanta ta nu are nici o treaba cu restul outfit-ului, aia isterica de iti vine sa o strangi de gat, dar pe care o asculti atunci cand te invata de bine, pentru ca ea deja a trecut prin viata si stie mai bine, aia care te cearta cand ai gresit, aia care te intreaba inainte sa puna un selfie cu voi doua in care cel mai probabil tu arati ca dracu’, aia care intra la tine in casa fara sa bata la usa, aia care aduce desertul, aia care iti zice ca iti va da foc la jeansii labartati pe care ii porti non stop pentru ca nu te avantajeaza, aia care nu te intrerupe cand vorbesti si te lasa sa aberezi pana te descarci , aia care recunoaste cand greseste si nu se imbufneaza la vacaru’ pe sat si asteapta lumea la picioarele ei, aia care il da naibii de orgoliu pentru ca tine mai tare la tine decat la el…
  • Este aproape imposibil ca o singura persoana sa fie “toate astea”. In concluzie, nu exista “Best Friend”. Si nu voi crede niciodata in  “Best Friend”, ci cred in iubire, loialitate, respect si sharing, because it’s caring…
  • Iar faptul ca renunti la anumite persoane la un moment dat in viata nu inseamna ca ii urasti sau ca le tii pica, ci ca te respecti pe tine, in primul rand. Unii pur si simplu pleaca, ca sa faca loc altora.

Cam atat am avut de spus azi, asa am simtit eu acum.

Va pup si va doresc “less drama, more dharma”

 

EN:

Best friend. Is there such a thing? I honestly admit that more than a few times I’ve doubted this, the fact that women can simply be truly happy for one another, because in the end it’s almost impossible for the small jealousies not to break the relationship to the ground. You’ll say that I’ve been unlucky and I just haven’t met the right person. It’s possible, I’m not saying no. Or maybe I’ve been asking too much from life: loyalty, honesty and respect. But just like in any relationship, when you give more than you receive it’s like math, you’re on red and there’s a comma in there…

But what would we do without this “best friend” stereotype? Does it really make our life more beautiful? Do we really need it? Let’s see:

  • They say that childhood friends are for life. That’s debatable. I believe every one of us had various friends in each stage of our lives, because life takes us in different areas and the chances for our roads to cross again are pretty small. In this case, only the truly lucky ones can enjoy this type of relationship.
  • Do we really need to accept our friend, with the good and the bad? Just like she is? Hysterical, drama queen, unpunctual, superficial, egocentric or naïve? The rule says that you have to love her for exactly who she is, but I say that from time to time it’s ok to “slap” her back to reality, otherwise she risks continuing to live in her world where everyone is an ogre and she is a princess.
  • What do you do with that friend who is too honest and tells you everything as it is, directly? Whether it’s about money, your love life or a little excess cellulite. Do you prefer her in favor of the one who talks behind your back?
  • The one that you see once a year, because God knows what he’s doing. If my dear Laura would live here in Bucharest, hell knows what would have come out of our relationship, given how crazy we are. So he put me in the capital, and she was lucky enough for her destiny to take her to Baia Mare, where there is less noise and pollution. 🙂
  • Ok, but how do you know which one cares about you even if you’re a pain in the ass yourself? The one who understands you from one look, who knows what’s going on with you without you even saying a word, the one who doesn’t mind when you call asking her if she has food at home, the one who gives you the address of that store where she always finds bargains, the one who listens to you anytime of the day, regardless of how busy she is, the one who lives in damn Maramures, but calls you 5 times a day just to talk about nonsense, the one who tells you straight up front that your bag has nothing to do with the rest of your outfit, the hysterical one whom you want to strangle, but whom you listen to when she teaches you well because she already went through life and knows better, the one who scolds you when you’re wrong, the one who asks before posting a selfie in which you most likely look like hell, the one who enters your house without knocking, the one who brings desert, the one who tells you she will burn those loose jeans that you wear all the time, because they don’t suit you, the one who doesn’t interrupt you when you speak and lets you finish your rant, the one who admits when she’s wrong instead of getting mad and waiting for the world to fall at her feet, the one who screws her ego because she cares more about you…
  • It’s almost impossible for one person to be “all this”. In conclusion, there is no “Best Friend”. And I will never believe in “Best Friends”, however I believe in love, loyalty, respect and sharing, because it’s caring…

And the fact that you give up on some people at some point in your life doesn’t mean you hate them or that you’re holding a grudge, it just means that you respect yourself, first of all. Some people leave just to make room for others.

This is what I had to say today, because this is how I feel.

Wishing you all “less drama, more dharma”! Kisses!

 

 

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